Henderson Hills Baptist Church

Submission, Really?

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." Eph 5:22-32 (ESV)

Imagine that you have a number of glasses lying on the desk in front of you. Some are sunglasses with polarized lenses. Other glasses include those with yellow lenses, rose-colored lenses, and various shades of grey and green lenses. Now, picture that you are picking up those glasses one by one and reading the Bible. Would it change how you saw the Scripture? Of course it would. Let’s, however, imagine that those lenses are actually colored with the culture in which you live and experiences that you’ve had. Again, the way you look at your Bible is colored by these lenses. Our job in biblical interpretation is, in part, to take off the lenses and read the Bible as it was originally written. We oftentimes will struggle with removing these lenses. I know of no better example than the passage that is before us today. To simply allow the Bible to mean what is written without the resistance and prejudices that we’ve developed through living in our culture and experiences is vital, yet challenging. Let’s simply allow God to speak through His written Word, without wearing the various colored lenses that are set before us.

Let me give you one warning before we begin. There is probably no passage of Scripture that is more explained away, watered down, and bent to fit the current culture than this section. My comments could be filled with so many caveats, qualifications, minimizing of the commands given here that they mean essentially nothing. I must resist that temptation, otherwise the passage will lose its original meaning and impact.

I find that verses 22-25 are inflammatory verses to some men and women. That is because of the lenses that we view them through and in part, because of our sinful flesh. Let’s confess our sin, ask that the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth, and seek to understand verses 25-31 first. Here is how the New American Standard version translates the passage,

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." Eph 5:25-31 (NASB95) 
 
Obviously, the verb “love” is a foundational concept in this entire passage. We see it in verse 25 and twice in verse 28. In all these cases the word “agape” is used in an imperative sense. In other words, a husband is commanded to love his wife even if the wife has not earned or deserves that love according to the husband’s assessment. What then does agape mean? This type of love does not necessarily involve an emotion. Rather, it is the choice to care, serve, and sacrifice. That is why Paul gives the example that our model for such love is Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church. The substitutionary atonement of Christ, accomplished on the cross (Heb 9:28) demonstrates the love of God (John 3:16). Now, a husband cannot replicate the saving work of Christ but he can offer, if necessary, the sacrifice of himself for her. Husbands, does this represent your choice to care for, serve, and sacrifice for your wives? You might say "I can’t do this; she makes me so angry, has hurt me so often, neglected my basic needs, and has let herself go physically to the point that I don’t even like the way she looks! How can I love her?" The answer, of course is that you can’t create love, it is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) and a consequence of the filling of the Spirit. If you do not act in this loving way to your wife, you reveal the condition of your own heart! By the way, there is a phenomenon that I’ve seen over the years. When husbands act volitionally to love like this, the wife begins to change into a person that they can love emotionally.

This is enough for us to chew on for today. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what your life represents. Are you submissive? Do you put your wife first? How is this demonstrated? If the answer is that you have a distance to travel in this road to submission, submit first to God. Ask Him to fill you with His Spirit. Obey Him quickly and completely. He will love through you.

2 Peter 3:18
Dennis Newkirk

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