Henderson Hills Baptist Church

The Biblical Principle of Headship

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the Church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church, because we are members of His body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church."  Eph 5:22-32 (ESV)

As we’ve learned, husbands are commanded by God to love their wives like Christ’s sacrificial love for His Church. That is a high standard and calling for husbands to live as Spirit-filled believers surrendered to Christ’s Lordship and life. This concept now enables us to better understand Ephesians 5:23.

"For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is Himself its Savior."

“Head of the wife…as Christ is the head of the Church.” As I study this verse I’ve been amazed by two things. The most striking trend to me is that so many responsible, respectable, wise conservative commentators and preachers have avoided this subject as if it were the Bubonic Plague! Even the men who I would predict may jump into it end up glossing over it or explaining it away. Perhaps I should learn something from them! The other marvel that I see here is how important the verse is. So, let’s take our cultural and experiential lenses off and dig into what Paul is telling us.

What does it mean that the husband is the head of the wife like Christ is the head of the Church? To be the "head of" gives the idea of initiative and leadership. Think of this in terms of the human body. The mind initiates the actions of the whole body. When a person has a stroke and the brain no longer functions correctly, part of the body ceases to function. A stroke may affect a person’s gait, grasp, speech, and other important functions. The ability to initiate actions has unfortunately been lost. Likewise, when the husband fails to function appropriately as the Spirit-filled head, the wife is negatively impacted by this loss of leadership and initiative. A passive or belligerent assertive husband will do real damage to the function of the wife. Husbands, it is inappropriate for you to be passive or domineering. There is really no excuse for it other than the fact that you have failed in your spiritual growth. It is time to focus on your spiritual life and many times you will see an amazing transformation come from your wife! The Church is filled with extreme examples of what Christian husbands should not be. Some are wimpy and some are pharisaical. I’m sure that both grieves the Holy Spirit and is disciplined by the Father.

Let’s also consider what is not suggested by this understanding of headship. Inferiority is not implied. Wives, you are not inferior to your husband and it is grossly inappropriate for you or him to believe that you are. Your position is completely respectable and worthy. You are to be sensitive and supportive of your husband’s initiatives but not accept slavery or abuse. Wait for his initiative, support his leadership, pray for him to walk as a Spirit-filled believer, and don’t dominate or denigrate your husband. The Spirit-filled wife will support and be responsive to her Spirit-filled husband. That is God’s plan for marriage. If the husband and wife surrender themselves to these commands and implications there will be transformations and Christian marriage will display the relationship between Christ and His Church to a lost world. Let me ask, does your marriage reveal Christ’s love and headship and the Church’s joyful acceptance and responsiveness to His great love? If not, realize that there is a lot at stake here. It is time to seek Christ and His fullness in your lives individually and as a couple.

It is never too late to begin to use godly principles. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit for strength and direction. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church. Wives submit to your husbands as the Church should submit to Christ. It is a good plan. It works!!

2 Peter 3:18
Dennis Newkirk

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