Henderson Hills Baptist Church

An Important Word to our Children

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Eph 6:1-4 (ESV)

I’m a parent of three sons. That means I’m a veteran, but not an expert. The fact of the matter is that I do not think that it is possible to be an expert on raising kids. Well, I guess that is wrong. I was an expert before Chuck was born. I designate those years as B.C., meaning before Chuck. In my B.C. days I could tell you what nearly every parent was doing incorrectly and what really needed to be done to clean up the situation. Then Chuck was born and I discovered that I didn’t know a thing on the subject. Let’s fast forward that scene about 3 ½ decades. I can still say that I know about as much as the day that I first put Chuck in the car and headed home. Now, there are a few things that I’ve figured out. First, I know that parenting is the most guilt-producing venture in life. I’ve also come to believe that we are going to make mistakes raising our kids. Finally, I know without a shadow of a doubt that we must pay careful attention to what our Father says and ask Him for the power to do it. That does not guarantee the outcome. Good leadership does not always result in good “follow-ship”. Nevertheless, the application of God’s Word is always the best and right thing to do.

Let’s begin with God’s commandments to children. I have the unusual blessing of pastoring a church in which over 500 children meet each week. When we add Middle School and High School students we add well over another 500 young people. What does the Bible have to say to these “children?” That is a question that could be approached in two ways. Children, listen to what the Bible says and ask God to help you to do it. Parents, pay careful attention to the teachings of the Bible related to parenting. Heed the warnings, follow the instructions, seek the filling of the Spirit, and teach these concepts to your children. Verses 2 and 3 are directed to children, whom we could define here as young people still living at home with their parents. You are to “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Spirit-filled young people are told to honor their parents and to do it willingly. In fact, the first duty of all children is to obey their parents in the Lord. It might be noted here that there is no restriction on the spiritual condition of the parents. In other words, the Christian young person should seek to obey his or her parents regardless if the parents are or are not believers. Some Bible students have interpreted the words “in the Lord” to mean that children are to obey their parents as long as the parents are in the Lord, in other words, saved and speaking God’s will. That is a poor interpretation of the phrase and the position of the phrase in the Greek word order.

“Children, honor (obey) your parents in the Lord” means that young people are to obey their parents as if they were obeying their ultimate authority, Christ Jesus. The second issue is that this command to obey in the Lord means that they are to obey their parents as long as their parents are not leading them to rebel against God. Let me use a hyperbole to make a point. If a parent was to tell a Christian young person to rob a bank, that obedience would not be biblical and not honor Christ. If a parent asks a child to disobey Christ, the child must humbly resist and be willing to suffer the consequences for Christ. However, let’s be honest; this kind of thing is the exception and not the rule. It is not God’s will for you to drive and text at the same time, or watch violent and immoral movies on TV or at the theater. Obeying your parents is the right thing to do.

Another reason why it is so important for kids to obey their parents is that this is a commandment that when complied with, a promise is made. Both Exodus 20:12 and this passage of Ephesians show us the importance of such obedience from God’s point of view. There actually are two promises being made, “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” These children will be protected from many consequences that could come in life because they have learned the joy of submission to authority. The promise of living long on the earth may have more to do with a reward given in the millennial age than it does guarantee every obedient child that he or she will live beyond 90 years of age. It may also speak of the fact that obedience to authority does have the ability to extend life.

What is the role of parents in this Spirit-filled relationship with their children?

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Eph 6:4 (ESV) There is too much here to cover today so, Lord willing, we will look at Christian parenting tomorrow.

2 Peter 3:18
Dennis Newkirk

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